Multiplayer back in the day meant you were right next to the guy(s). No fancy cable connecting you, just good ol’ fashioned socializing in front of a digital screen jamming buttons and yelling at each other. Get angry enough and the on-screen action crosses over into the real world.

Nothing says “fun!” more than that!

Konami’s 4-player coop, big screen arcade machine, Crime Fighters is that type of game. Classic 16-bit arcade graphics and fast frantic action with over the top fun.

This one bleeds Konami all over the place. You play a bunch of vigilantes going out to make the streets safe again from mohawk wearing, switch-blade, club weilding punk baddies. Think ’80’s hair meets ’70’s grit.

A solid title for the arcades that provided 4 coin slots. Drop your money in the wrong one and you just gifted someone else’s life gauge. Two buttons: kick and punch. Mash ‘em together and you jump kick. That’s about it. Just mash those buttons to execute move after move.

There’s a nice variety of moves too, including my favorite: kicking your enemy while their down. Yup. Mostly taboo in video games until now, Crime Fighters actually told you to kick your enemy after you temporarily knocked him to the ground. Quickly mash kick enough times while standing over the punk and that’s end of that one.

It’s fun.

There’s also the double-ax-handle smash, and the bell-ringer. Yup. You can kick or punch a baddie right in the jimmy and ring his bell. He’ll animate the appropriate private parts grabbing pain motion. When the bell rings (literally), almost everyone will feel it and fall over laughing.

Get smashed by a falling sign and you’re dude becomes a scunched up midget fighter for a while. All in good clean, wholesome, token sucking fun.

The baddies are no slouches either. They’ll ring your bell too! They’ve got weapons and sheer numbers. You’ll want a few friends to come along, or this game will dominate you.

That’s it right there. The sense that you need your buddies with you. Crime Fighters was one of those arcade machines that you actively sought out after mom and dad dropped you off at the arcade with your pal. Playing it was so much fun that you talked about it in school the next day with your like minded arcade lovin’ buds.

It’s too bad though. This classic title is just screaming an update on this generation. Imagine what you could do! On-line multiplayer and player matching to go through the levels together. Everyone punching bad guys in the jimmy and vice-versa. It pains me just thinking about it.

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