Summer movie season is here and in full swing. That means craptacular tie-in games are coming too.

We’re mostly subjected to home console games that most folks avoid or rent. Unfortunately, back in the golden arcade era, you couldn’t really do any of that.

A small quarter investment into a bad game means a lot to a 10 year old, you know. Especially to those who hadn’t yet learned movie game=crap.

Did you know a Batman movie arcade game actually existed? Yup. Unlike the Tim Burton flic, the game sucked.

The home consoles all got awesome Batman games. With the exception of the Genesis Batman game, they all shared some storylines with the movie. The Genesis version was the most movie-esque (and in our opinion of the best Batman games…ever).

The arcade version, in a word: sucks. We look at it because it’s sooo so bad. Bad controls, terrible level designs, and worst of all? A weak-ass Batman. (WTF???)

Presentation is about all the game has going for it. It’s done really well and there’s a fun, but strange aspect of the game. You get to choose if you want to start with 3 or 7 lives. Fewer lives and you get more “life”, more lives and you get less “life” in your life meter.

Strange huh?

While the rest of game looks pretty, Batman’s moves are ugly. U-G-L-Y…there ain’t no alibi, it’s ugly. Batman’s flying kick looks more like a stubby hump of a foot rather than a whole leg kick. There’s no excuse for making the hero look like a dork.

Most of the time though, he just walks around with his cap in his chin.

Batman has a single attack. Kick/punch (he decides) and jump. Pick-up batrangs and all you can do is batrang folks to death. Pick up a gas gun and you blow gas at people. Yup, Batman’s other fighting abilities take a hike.

Pick up weapons and you’ll find yourself burning ‘em quick so you can get back to punching and kicking which are more effective.

You’ll get the grapple, which is cool until you discover that’s all you can do is grapple. You need to get hit in order to stop grappling. Yes, you hear me. Otherwise all Batman does is look up and grapple. Punching and kicking? Out. It’s grapple all the time.

Yeah, it’s bad. Unfortunately, no one’s learned any lessons. Bad movie games keep coming out and I predict we’ll keep seeing ‘em.

(Editor’s Note: Strangely enough, I bet this game has a high probability of making it on Wii VC Arcade. Don’t you?)

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